Monday, April 6, 2009

My Back/Neck

So this is what my back looks like. I am getting injections of radio-frequency in my neck and back, which is like a nerve block. I have been in REALLY bad pain from my car accident 2 years ago with the Semi truck. So I have been finding ANY thing and ANYONE who will and can fix me. People just stare at me when I go to the gym (IF I go to the gym). This is a time that I REALLY wish I had my family around to help me out. :(. I cry some days cause of my pain and just wanting my family here to help me with my kids. This makes it SO hard for me to be a mom, and hauling my kids to the doctor appointments with me 3 times a week, every week. And I am not a person to ask for help, so that is why I SOOOOOO wish my family (Mom & Dad) lived here. There are days I just can't move, can't get out of bed or at the toilet throwing up from the pain- while Landon is crying for me to hold him and Taylar is whining cause she is hungry for a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich that I have to make for her and turn her shows on TV (TIVO) ans have to go up and down my stairs (that are literally straight up and down). People who have their family near by- DO NOT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!!! Being a 28 year old, I still need my mom and dad!! This pain just sucks, and I just wish they could do something to "fix" me so I can be a Mom and Wife again!
i have to thank my mother in law for the times she has watched my kids while i went to get my numbing injections- that helped me out a TON for those doctor visits. So Thank you for your help, support and love during those trying times.
All i wish for is.... to be healthy and functional again! it is very stressful times in my life and my husband works all the way up in Morgan everyday, so i get no help with my hubby. Just need a vacation and it's VERY hard being a mom at this time in my life, with this pain and with no parents here that i can just go drop my kids off and go home for a little break or treatment (since it is so many days a week i have to go). Just having really bad days these days.... thanks for letting me vent!


Rebecca said...

Wow...I didn't know you were in a car accident...and with a semi! What happened? I am sorry you are in so much pain. It really is hard to be a mom and be in pain or sick. We are simply not allowed to be! I can't imagine being in pain constantly and taking care of my kids. I would help if I was closer. I know what it's like to not have my Mom and Dad around while raising kids, that's why we moved to AZ to be near family and let me tell you I wouldn't have it any other way! Love my sis Emily...She is a HUGE help to me!

JC and Jana Davis said...

What am I?? Chopped liver??

Stephanie said...

hahha no your not chop liver Jana! You have ENOUGH kids!! i was just having a REALLY bad day yesterday (pain wise) :(

Julie said...

Oh Steph, I am so sorry!!!!! I wish I were just down the street & could sub for your mom. Sending extra love & hoping for less & less pain! Is this something that should improve or is this something you will deal with the rest of your life? LUV YA!

Marva said...

I had no idea!!!!! I will have to bring Taylor over here more often to play with Layni...I'm so sorry!!!! Please call me whenever you need a relief I really don't mind at all..I'm usually home so please call when you have another one of those days...Your back looks so painful.

Stephanie said...

To My Daughter Stephanie,
I need to come out and spend some time with you. I read your blog and I know you are hurting, in many ways. I know coming out only for a few days will not help too much, but I will do what I can. I always enjoy our phone calls during the week and on the weekends. I see those welts on your back and I think there is something wrong with this picture. They use to do this in the early 1800's. I can see no useful purpose with this procedure, other than making a car payment for the person who is doing this to you. It just does not seem right. I feel so sad for you. I will call tomorrow and see how you are doing. I need to come out asap.
Love Dad